Why Is Acceptance So Hard?
The fact that I’ve always struggled with acceptance really annoys me! When something happens that leaves me sad, disappointed, angry, frustrated, etc., I sometimes find myself really struggling to accept it. Why can’t my initial reaction be to just accept what life has thrown my way? Even when I feel like my life is in pretty great balance overall, I still struggle with accepting so many things. I often yearn to be in a comfortable place, with no pain or struggles. This, of course is a complete fantasy since life is full of many ups and downs.
Maybe part of what makes acceptance so hard is the society we live in; it feels really superficial at times. All around us we see people smiling and looking happy (e.g. in movies, on Facebook, etc.). More often than not, we compare ourselves to others and think about whether we measure up. We want more and tend to take for granted what we have. If we accepted what we had, we wouldn’t want more necessarily. Acceptance is something we all struggle with every single day. It doesn’t have to destroy us though.
Successes and Failures
When I’m consistent with keeping my mind and body balanced, I accept things more easily. I struggle with the consistency part because life gets in the way. What doesn’t work is when I blame others, pity myself, have regrets and not forgive myself for making mistakes. We’re all human and we will always screw up. We’re wired to sin and we’re easily tempted by things we shouldn’t do or shouldn’t have. What works is admitting (accepting) and finding your own balance. For me, it’s regular yoga, spending time outdoors whenever I can, reading, writing, going to church, getting plenty of sleep, cooking and listening to classical music. These things balance me out. When I don’t do these things, I get all out of whack and it’s not pretty.
A Work in Progress
It’s not realistic to think we’re going to accept everything, all the time. But, every day we can strive to do better wand work to improve. Whether stuck in traffic, waiting in a long line at the store, dealing with a difficult colleague, getting sick or finding out that someone you love betrayed you, acceptance is not easy but practicing it will bring peace. When things happen that we don’t like, think about the part we might have played. And, if there wasn’t anything we could have done to prevent or avoid it, it is best to try to accept and move on. Do it for your own sake. I read in a book once that if doing something does not bring you peace, than don’t do it. This is also where your inner voice comes into play.
I am the first to admit that I am an incredibly impatient driver and have been known to have road rage. Since I moved further away from my office over a year ago, I’ve slowly adapted to the longer commute and horrific traffic. The days I don’t accept it, the more stressed out my morning starts off. When I go with the flow, life is so much happier. I’m slowly getting there.