Love – It’s Complicated

IMG_4932What is Love?

It’s something that “feels” great, right?  If only it were that simple.  With all the books written about love, you’d think we would have it all figured out by now.  I’ve learned some painful lessons in life and have some powerful insights for those that are hurting or just not sure what love is all about.

Why Should We Love? 

Sadly, I think love is misunderstood by most (including me).  Love is not a feeling or emotion.  I really used to think it was.  Love is an action and it’s selfless.  It teaches us so much about ourselves and our intentions.  Do we have the ability to really love others?  Do we give unconditionally or expect something in return?  Do we get angry when others let us down and turn out backs on them?  That’s not love.  Love doesn’t demand things and it doesn’t have expectations.  Relationships teach us how to love.  Relationships are not here to fix us or satisfy inner desires or needs.

How to Love

If we choose to be loving to people everywhere we go, every day of our lives, the world would be better for it.  This could be as simple as holding a door for someone at the store, smiling at a stranger, saying hello to your neighbor, being there for someone in need, etc.  It’s not easy though; I struggle with this every day as my impatience and stubbornness often get in the way of my good intentions.  However, when we put that crap aside and learn to find healthy ways to deal with our stress and emotions, we’re not sending that nasty energy out into the world.  It’s a work in progress. Some days we do better and it’s okay to have bad days.  What’s not okay is to continue to make the same mistakes and not try to be better.   Awareness is the first step and it’s a beautiful thing because that will lead to change in behavior.  No one’s perfect and we’re all a work in progress.

Get Rid of Love Inhibitors 

Think about the people that invest in you and uplift you.  Keep those people around and nourish those relationships; they’re gifts.  Get rid of the rest. Whether it’s an unhealthy relationship or friendship or a work situation that’s truly toxic, get rid of these things over time.  If you’re struggling with what to cut out, write about it, pray about it and think about what gives you peace and what doesn’t.  Trust your gut.  Get support from those that care about you, not those that bring you down.  They will just continue to bring you down!

~Nicole

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